retreat?
Tuesday, March 14, 2006 | 11:42 PM | 0 hearts♥
im supposed to go and sleep early by orders, but i never seem to listen. lol.lately i seem to find solace in blogging. meaning secret blogging. not open one la. obviously-.- that and solace in someone else.
yes yes i admit that i have done something horribly horrible to not let you in on my other entries. i know that you are curious. okie, maybe you arent, you dont give a hoot(lol?) to what i write, but at least there's a general stereotype that humans are always curious. else why do you think we'd bother to invent countless formulas and theories to explain life's mysteries? and in the end, we find ourselves locked in the never ending struggle to try and understand the workings of mother nature, to.... why am i saying this. arrrggghhhh. why bother.
BUT THATS NOT THE POINT!!! im not talking about the world of humans. im talking about me being a little over obsessive with writing entries that only i can see because im a very, very, selfish girl when it comes to my personal thoughts and feelings. on the other hand, it doesnt mean im a robot. when i dont say out stuff, it doesnt mean that i dont feel anything. but then again, i cant even assess what im feeling sometimes and if i cant do that, dont bother about putting it in words. thats rare though. and thats when i say, no comment. when i say no comment, it means that, or that i simply dont wish to give a comment. a literal meaning. case closed.
sounds a bit abstract. if you dont understand, never mind. just continue reading la.
BUT (AGAIN), THATS NOT THE POINT?!!!! im not talking about how i react to stuff, im talking about why im writing such obsessively selfish entries. hmmmm. to see how i react in the past? i think i see it more as some kind of journal, some kind of confidant? to think that of all the times i have been forced to write journals on paper in primary and secondary school, no teacher has ever come up with the brilliant idea to use computers instead and asked me to do it. sigh. what a disappointment. yeah an online journal. some for others to read, some only for myself. but it does feel rather weird, i suppose. and i have no idea why im discussing this issue suddenly. just felt a mental nudge to go write out this piece of junk and paste it in my blog.
i think i tend to go crazy when i start to blog at night. aiyah. im just too tired. and when im too tired i start to go a little weird. i think. okie thats it. im going to zone out. night everyone=)