insomnia
Friday, April 28, 2006 | 11:29 PM | 0 hearts♥
last night was a bad night for me. it was weird that since i had practice yesterday, i would still experience insomnia that very night. haiz. duno what is happening. and to think i still slept at 1am.so from 1am to 2 am... i spent the entire hour tossing and turning on my bed. cuz i was very uncomfortable. cannot hug bolster, cannot cover myself with a blanket. then i realised i was feeling rather hot cuz my window not open. zzz. so okie... opened the window... on the fan... and it got better. but who knew that from 2 plus to 3 plus, i got very COLD... wth... and then i started to have irritations at the back of my throat from lack of water... and the cold made me sneeze... which triggered off my running nose. dammit. what a chain reaction. after trying my best to ignore the disturbances and get some sleep i gave up and submitted to my needs. ARGH. i tell you, it was so irritating. i just wanted to be warm but not too warm, without my running nose, and the irritation to be cured. so i ended up trying to sleep in a sitting position on the living room armchair with a cup of water in my hands. then, the living room proved to be too cold for me... zzz so i scooted back to the kitchen, refilled my cup and brought it back to the room and OFFED THE STUPID FAN. before i climbed up the bed... i checked the clock for the last time. 4.58am.
...might as well just stay awake.
however i decided tat sleep was impt... so i tried to sleep again and miraclously i could. one hour of peaceful sleep before being woken up by papa. sigh... weird that when i woke up, no eyebags. haha.
anyways... sch was damn boring... i forgot to bring my file... cannot do anything in sch... cannot hand up skill A which i feel damn sian about... Gp TCA paper 2 was a total crash and burn test... i feel so demoralized... and then loads and loads of things that i seem to take in... small things perhaps... maybe im just thinking too much as usual. but i just get the sense that... hm=/... dun feel like saying it here...
badminton is taking out alot on my time... come home everyday at abt 9.30 to 10 pm...and i seem to have a constant addiction towards computers... lost momentum, lost track on my homework. and it seems that my friends have been affected by the trainings as well. i hope i dont lose heart in my life right now before my last tournament ends... and alot alot of other things are crowding up my mind... focusing on badminton helped for awhile... but for the rest of the time... there's plenty to ponder...
i want to do my best for the team. im trying already. maybe i look like im slacking... but i did try hard. i run for the balls... i correct my mistakes... and while at it... people can say that i seem to slack? sad really. but funnily, i find it okie. my sweat dried long ago towards the end of practice today... cuz i was just playing random or non exerting shots with others... so obviously it would have dried... haha... nvr mind... while im at it... im stayin up all night to try and understand my lecture notes which i slept through cuz im tired, finish up my homework so that there wont be a depressing pile when everything is finished, and forgotten to bring many many things to sch. became a little absent minded too. today i actually mistook my pencil case for my purse and wanted to buy things with it. can you imagine. shit, poo, dung, sai(hokkien?), si(cantonese), whatever other versions you can have for my life now... bring it on... lol...zzz...
im just glad that my parents understand how crucial my trainings are right now. that they are okie with me spending money to eat dinner with my teammates and come back so late in the night(not like i can help it). they didnt complain, but helped me in keeping my room tidy... watch out if i have any sickness or what so ever... im very very grateful towards my parents. or maybe this is a phrase where the parents start to let go and watch their children grow up themselves?
on another aspect... i duno. nth much seems to be happening. a little down. and im too caught up in trainings to be able to do much it seems. luckily moday is labour day. a little time to have a break from everything and really rest. maybe?