Just a casual update on my life right now ( i think so)

Life has become slightly less hectic of course.

I took up a tutoring job teaching a primary 5 korean student primary 2 chinese (laughs). He's a handful and ever since we got accustomed to each other. I hope it doesn't keep up else I might end up scolding him over his attitude and it would create a terrible atmosphere between us next time. Maybe I need more patience with a kid, but at the same time, I think I've given him plenty of leeway to be an inattentive kid.

Exams are coming up in a month's time or so. I don't really aim for anything much. Just a decent pass in my programming module which I failed last sem, and for the rest just a B or B-. If my MA1505 could get a B, I would be very happy. For my first NM module, I really hope to get at least a B. Hmm, that's all I suppose for my academics. Although grades are really important, they don't really hold high importance in my life, as I would rather do the things I love like creating stuff and such.

I didn't use to have that much passion for my art. It's not that I didn't have any. Just that while I might have a bit more talent in that area, it didn't neccessarily mean that I had the ongoing passion to pursue it. At that point of time, perhaps deciding on CM was just something I choose based on my talent, that's all.

When I speak of passion, it's all about the love you have, and the devotion that keeps you on and on in doing the work even if everything else falls into disrepair. That's how I see passion as, and at the point when I entered NUS, I didn't see myself that passionate as my personal vision of the word.

However, after getting into the module, and finally learning the little basics of Photoshop(although I must admit, I'm still very bad at it), it just interests me how much things could be enhanced, twisted, played around with so many functions. Although I'm still a sucker for the good old paper and pencil art, nevertheless I'm still having fun with it. I even bought a drawing thingy(I forgot what's that called) to doodle on the computer screen, and I think it suits me fine. If I had loads of money, I would have went for a screen kind which costs at least 1k++.

I seriously don't know how far can I go. Even if I could draw, it doesn't mean I'm better than the rest out there. Buying the drawing pad didn't mean that others didn't have it, or couldn't have done a better job than me just by using scans and tracing. Sometimes, I wonder if I can ever get my dream job after graduation, haha. It's still a sketchy idea, but as long as I stick to CM, I think I can get something out that will satisfy me.

I think it's really passion for my module that keeps me going for now. Maybe I won't get a good grade, but it was a really gratifying experience for me to make all sorts of fun stuff. I'm proud of certain stuff that I had done, and if I have time to explore, I think I will consider making skins. But that's in the future when I get hold of more software and learnt the basics.

One aspect of me that wouldn't be good was to take criticism. I mean, I CAN take criticism, but only to a certain extent. Whenever I submit a piece of work, I always hope for the best result and approval. As long as someone says good work irregardless of how much changes is needed to be done, I feel happy. If they don't and keep asking for changes, I tend to get moody, but that tends to lighten up after a day or so. Still, I get grouchy like an old woman. If you critisize, and harp on my mistakes again after a while, I think I could throw my pen at you. I mean, seriously, who likes having to have people commenting negatively all the time. Pisses me off, I tell you. The worst case senario is when they outright tell me that they don't like it, something is wrong, Firstly, I will be pissed and think that you are irritating. Secondly, after a while I will think you have bad art sense if after a close examination I see nothing wrong with my work, unless I agree with your comments. Third, I will start to sulk. Fourth, I will probably refuse to show you my work next time if majority finds it fine but you don't.

It's not that I'm the oh-so-high-and-mighty shujun who thinks that she's a professional but a complete noob. I acknowledge that not everyone will have the same taste as me, of course. But if one is so dismissive to the extent that they pick on minor stuff without even giving a decent phrase like "it's ok", I would probably not let you comment on my work again. I'm not trying to fish for comments that pleases my ears, but to me it's a sign of appreciation and acknowledgement that this is a piece of work that has some kind of effort in it(unless it's a half baked one, then I probably wouldn't mind the negativity because it's expected). Simple enough? I guess with my attitude I wouldn't survive such an industry. But who knows, maybe a few years down the road, I would have become more tolerant, because it was only when I came into NUS did I focus so much on art and comments.

Ok, enough of this. Need to study and I'm going to meet my dear on Tuesday!!! =D so happy

Labels: aspirations, school life, thoughts, updates

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