Thanks to a certain SOMEBODY *coughs* I decided to make a blog post. Not that the person asked me to make la. But since I'm back here, why not.

Actually I'm feeling a tad sheepish now 'cause I did promise myself that I would try to update every now and then, but well.... you see. *stares at previous post made in January*

In my defense, I shall explain that I have tons of projects. 5 actually this sem. As of now, I've just completed one, and another is due tomorrow, but we have finished preparations so all's good. That leaves a crappy GEK1531 essay (that has not even been touched yet), special effects, and the gigantic game dev project. Starting to feel the crunch, even though I have 2 projects down.

Consult yesterday saw some changes made to the game design. Not in terms of game mechanics, thank god, but in the number of levels we intend to use. I think on my part, and Wei Feng's part too, we were very relieved as it meant less work. Until they started to talk about backgrounds and I realised I was in for deep shit as I had to recreate another 4 new backgrounds while almost entirely discarding the one I did before. Kind of like how there's a sudden downpour when the sun is still shining. Yeah the super suay kind. And it's not helping that I have to do it ALL with that stupid moving background thing........ urgh so troublesome. But if I can pull it off, I'll be really proud of myself.

Major reworking needed for special effects too... -.-. I have to say after watching the lecturer's video on the behind the scenes effects, I was rather psyched to ramp up the quality of my special effects. But again, time constraints (and procrastination) make it really hard to reach for my goals. I really hope I will be able to deliver in time, and in high standard. And because if I churn out shit I will malu in front of the public presentation. LOL.

Was talking to LG awhile back, and he asked if I liked drawing. I replied, " If there is something you do in which no matter how tedious it is, you feel happy doing it, that means you like it." And well, that's how I feel about drawing. Granted, I do not have any background expertise (unless you count my crummy artwork during primary school drawing lessons) but I love to dabble with colours. I love experimenting on ideas, and creating the image that I feel would fit the mood, and provide flow to whatever it is supposed to contribute to. That's why I love my role as the assets creator in my game dev project now, despite how heavy the workload is. It is very well my first and last time in NUS where I really felt like I was in my element, just churning out piece after piece with average effort (i.e.: no brain drain feeling I get from solving maths questions or coding), and feeling immense joy looking at my creations. In fact, when I feel like taking a break, I actually turn to my game dev stuff and start to draw assets that I need later, and it really helps me relax.

I truly understand the joy of getting the dream job now. I am SO going to get that dip, seriously.

Labels: resolutions, school life, updates

After reading the last email, I moved it to the folder and told myself to never read it again.

Labels: my dear, resolutions

Resolution fulfilled on the 20th of January 2010 (around 1+am)!

Some screenshots I took:



My guildmate was urging me to level on a Saturday instead, cuz I would be flooded with many pms from people and more megas. But I didn't want to because I just wanted to level asap haha.

Of course many thanks to everyone who had been a part of my maplestory journey to 200 - my dear bf, Jo, maria, the whole guild DesTInyZ which I've joined for close to 2 years and all the buddies who have trained with me thus far. And especially to my dear bf because he actually logged in and trained with me for close to 6-7 hours straight for my last level when he doesn't really play anymore <3

Indeed, it takes a lot of effort to reach 200. Throughout my 4 years of playing this online game, I've met with many ups and downs. There was indeed a period of my introvert-ness and addiction especially when I entered university and had "a lot of free time". It takes a lot to keep going despite everyone around me getting negative with me playing the game because I was too addicted and didn't keep up with my responsibilities in real life. (not in a gd way btw) It had caused friction in my relationships with my family and my bf at some point of time.

Looking back, I do dearly regret for getting so addicted with this game. Sometimes I regret at my money spent on the game, but sometimes I don't because if I didn't I would have done it anyway. On the bright side, it really did bring gaming satisfaction compared to despairing over the slow rate my exp bar was filling up. Definitely I regret shunning from my work and social life playing this game. But I never regretted playing maplestory, ever.

Let's face it. This game is virtual, it's a bunch of worthless pixels that are not worth sacrificing reality over. That I do agree, but I don't believe that abstaining from playing it is the "model" way to go. The people behind the screens that we make friends with, the emotions that we experience and the interactions we experience, they are all REAL. People can cry, laugh, fall in love, forge such strong friendships that transcend the boundaries of a virtual world. I have met up with my guildmates on several occasions, and they are a bunch of people just as normal as you and me, except that we play maplestory and you probably don't. (though my bf always thinks that they must definitely be all fat) Of that, I truely appreciated the values of having met some people who have gained my respect and learnt from in terms of values, views in life and their character.

Values? Maybe one may scoff at how maplestory would be able to do that. But it's true. Although it's a virtual world, morals over how we should act and behave bind as just as reality would. I have learnt how to be more tactful towards people in situations that I had never experienced before, be more outgoing, be kinder to others, and I got advice from adults regarding certain aspects of life. It's kind of brief, but I find it hard to describe just how much there was to gain. I won't say that maplestory is a great platform that everyone should go for because they will become a better person, because it depends on the individual. I happened to be lucky because I was introduced into a dependable guild that was mostly filled with adult players. Even though people comment that maplestory is filled with childish players (that are really kids) and that the community sucked, I always had my guild with me to not be like them but I never had the discipline that they had :'(

In the end though, taking a leaf from many of my guildmates, I took a hiatus from the game last sem because I didn't want to bring down my grades. Resetted my priorities in life and that sem went well (for once in my uni life). It was a hard lesson learnt, seeing my cap like this but I'm glad of my self improvement. So thus I learnt that if you have discipline, it's ok to play every once in a while - the hard way. I always knew that, but it was until I experienced a fall that I truely learnt.

Surprisingly though, quitting from the game for half a year had cured that itch to click and play maplestory every single time I'm free. It's only when I have nothing to do that I click on maplestory now, and even online I just leave my character there, afking. Even if I don't go onto maple, it doesn't feel like anything because I probably got used to not playing maple during my hiatus. In a sense it feels great to break free of this bind. Except for the promise that I made to people that I would attend some boss events regularly (else I would get kicked out), I could always go out freely and enjoy myself. And of course, being 200 now means that I have no reason to train ahha. (not that I want to, a bit sick of it) Now I mostly just farm a little money and logoff, or do my quests.

So more or less that ends my maplestory endless training. Of course I would still login to chat with my buddies, play a little here and there and attain those small goals that I set years back when I was still dreaming of being 200. Definitely won't sell my account. I believe I said it last year that it is a stupid move, and I think it still is. My character is mine and I don't believe anyone should claim her with just the mere offer of money.

There may be a day where maplestory closes down, or that I quit but I would always remember this experience in my life. Maybe when I have a child, I can show him/her this blog post of mine to tell him/her just how much I had gamed and what resulted. Good learning experience for him/her haha.

Labels: maple life, resolutions

Countdown to 2009 was pretty alright. Spent the night at Kev's house, watched the tiny weeny fireworks and forced him to eat a piece of chocolate when it struck midnight (just a sudden idea lol). Network jammed up as usual so I didn't bother to send back greetings till the next day. A quiet celebration, just the way I like.

The very next day we went to Sentosa with the rest of B gang. Had a nice breakfast before meeting up with them. Didn't go down to the water at all. Just spent the day trying to get dark but not sunburnt, played cards and chit chat. Turns out I hardly got a tan. Didn't know SPF50 is that strong haha!

My first movie of the year was right after getting out of Sentosa. Mel's mum got us the tickets at a very later timing, so we squeezed in Jordan's car and went to his house to rest (very tired) while the others played mahjong. It was pretty funny cuz Kev and Jie Sheng kept making fun of how Nat plays mahjong and everything lol

Ip Man IMO was nice for me. Ok, I'm a sucker for these kind of fighting shows, loved them since young! I used to watch those old chinese films shown at ulu timings on TV; the choreography is really nice! But it they must include at least a meaningful plot, not just brainless fighting hor (like those Ong Bak or whatever. It doesn't look like it has a plot in the first place) AND doesn't mean I'm violent hor. Kevin got for me the moo moo calendar from the combo meal! XD muacks!!! I thought it was those flipping calendars but it turns out that the dates and months were bricks that you had to turn, quite troublesome =.=

Finally reached home at around 2 plus am I suppose, and fell asleep right away while Kevin die-die had to win his 1st round in FF-Dissidia before he followed suit, gah. (he didn't know how to play at first lol)

Next day, we went to watch Ponyo on the cliff by the sea!! Omg it's freaking CUTE. The plot's a little too short (so easy to save the world one), but STILL, I would say it's good. Arrggggggghhhhhhhhh I don't even know how to describe the epic cuteness of Ponyooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! Go see for yourself! :D Even better was that the combo meal sold a moo-moo tumbler (which they filled with coke), so COOL. Then I happily bought the set and went in, only to realise I didn't get a straw and I cannot drink =.=

Had supper with Jie Sheng, Nianci and Dylan right after that. We walked one big round around the 334 route due to miscommunication and blah blahblah. At least the prata was nice and the curry was slightly sour and really spicy. Talked cock for awhile before we headed home and...

THAT WAS WHEN I REMEMBERED IT WAS BIDDING DAY. Omg.

Lucky first rd is till 5th of Jan, heng. But alot of screw ups la. Planned my mods long ago already. Then when I wan to bid, got lecture clash. Then there was another module that was already overbidded wth. I checked with Chong Yee and finally got to know there was a freaking MPE last sem that pre-allocated mods. I always thought it was just a survey and didn't bother to do. So exasperated with myself. Fuck it, I'll just bid and appeal if I can't get them. What else to do right?

Now I'm looking for a UE to fit into my mod. Wish there's someone who can take it with me. It's boring to do mods alone but apparently no one's very interested in Arts mods. All taking those mods like Understanding Universe, Sci of Music, blahblahblah. I'm not a logical or maths person, I prefer those stuff that's closer to readings and text or crap. So not CS, gah.

My motto for my school life is just simple. To enjoy it like a simple and normal person, nothing else. I don't yearn for grades that awe people, I just want to get my cert, and graduate normally from university while I enjoy my life with all the buddies I made in school and all the events I participated in. I hate politics, fucking hypocrites and people who look down on me like I can't do well in anything ( If there's anyone. I don't think so actually, but heck I'll just put it. )

If I looked back in my previous sem, it wasn't a really good one in terms of friendship. I did regret it at some points in time, and at times I don't. I'm not a BFF kind of person, and I don't expect others to do so to me. I'm perfectly happy with sitting down together to study and have dinners late in the night, go for outings and everything, but I get very uncomfortable when people get too close for my comfort. I don't like people sending me back everyday like some escort unless it's on the way home, unless it's just for fun once in a blue moon. I like to take have time alone occasionally. I like to take the bus home alone sometimes too. I don't like having to tell people constantly where I am, what I'm going to do on an often basis and all of the above applies to everyone unless you are my boyfriend or my family. And most of all I hate physical touches unless it's those normal friend kinds like a pat on the back, a handshake or something.

I don't mean to outcast everyone that I know, but it's just stating my boundaries of how I define my friendships with people. I want things to be the way I want it, that I can control as someone who is free and not tied down by anything. That's why I feel that last sem was really terrible, it didn't follow my principles in friendships somehow and I might have affected others as well; it makes me feel bad. To make it worse, I hate being the one to tell people to go away or anything because it makes me feel horrid to reject them so I ended up tolerating everything and I'm not really happy. This sem, I'm going to try and make a new start and just live it out NORMALLY. THAT'S IT RAWR. Don't take sides, don't get into stupid politics that I don't need and live a happier life.

Ok I feel better now :)

p/s: WWE is a really brainless show =.=||| Even Kevin fell asleep watching it.

Labels: occasions, resolutions, school life, thoughts

not frequently updating my blogs = dun read other pple's blog = not updated on wad they do = IM SO OUTDATED!!!!!!!!!!

ok stupid theory but it works for me. last night when i finally blogged so late, i took the chance to explore my fren's blogs which i haven't been touching for umpteen years. and all i can say is, wow. everyone is moving on ahead compared to me LOL

im still stuck with playing maple. but i still want to play, so sue me.

university applications wise everyone is starting to rant about it. well some people did surprise me with their applications (good and bad) and somehow when i read them, i really wished i had such opportunities like them. ok lah i know its bullshit cuz i got NTU's letter already, and well im seriously seriously fine with computer engineering really, cuz its raising my hopes to be near the animation industry so well~~~^^

the problem is well, i dun look forward to their culture over there. as my maple buddy said (she's in NTU) its boring to the max. boring lessons, boring lectures, so dead or wadever she said(actually she said things worse than this lol) so im quite apprehensive =/ furthermore, physics aint my strong subject and it kinda worries me that im stuck having to learn electronics and electricity =.= oh no.... i must go and get some physics pros and buddy them!!!!! RAWR. then again given NTU's 'dead' culture i wonder if i find anyone interesting enough... as in, no geek dressing pple please. or those who are... seriously geek although i know its functional to them lol.

i ever thought of appealing to change course, but i had two reasons against it. one: im too lazy. two: well, i dun think i will succeed. at this point, i dun think NUS will accept me so im not holding out much for them. im just relieved that i got into a university=) mum personally thought that i shouldnt appeal(whats given to u is given to u), sis thinks i should cuz physics will kill me, dad is just happy i went into uni. my entire family so neutral zzz.

well outings wise, i know i have not been attending lately. i can tell that my outings ratings are like a slim 0.01 % chance of going out hahahhaa. its all due to my teaching job in the afternoon, which is seriously bothering cuz it takes away the whole afternoon. and also because when i reach home, i go online to maple. bleh. and thirdly, when kev comes out its on the weekends so i want to acc him and that doesnt leave much for my frens. i know i pangseh my badminton pple and 4A classmates so many times until i think they dun wan to call me already. lol. well, i duno for how long more im gonna teach, but i think i might stop at may 11th (thats currently the date im signed on till) if so, they its kinda like holidays for me ya? then i can go out with u guys^^

and maybe lead a healthier, better lifestyle instead of sitting in this position for hours everyday typing. zzz.

thinking of drawing out a resolution list, cuz i think im becoming a potato sack and my life is seriously obstructed by potatoes in the middle of the road. kinda late, but better later than never right ;) i'll start on it during my break, hopefully.

oh btw i called up MOE and withdrew from the interview today. sis said if i went to fly kite on them, they'll blacklist me from further teaching jobs. bleh.

Labels: resolutions, updates